My husband and I have milestone birthdays coming this year. We’ve spent the past year thinking “how do we want to live the rest of our lives?” In the process my husband came up with the concept of Core Life Desires, a few words that summarize what is most important to you and keeps your life on track for how you want it to be. It goes beyond Core Desired Feelings to get to the heart of what you really want out of life.
A lot of confusion and sadness occurs because people don’t really know what they want. They go after the goals and choices they believe they should go after or that they believe will make them happy. Often these ambitions have been derived from perceived family, church, and societal expectations and beliefs. But very few stop to check within themselves for answers and guidance to their life. The common mid-life crisis is a typical result of pursuing desires that really didn’t belong to you in the first place.
So how do you identify your Core Life Desires? You listen to yourself. Spend some time quietly listening to the core messages of your heart. You will feel in your heart what is true for you.
For example I originally put Relationships as one of my Core Life Desires, but when I checked in with myself I realized the core relationship was a relationship with myself not others. When I feel good about myself, my relationships, work, and prosperity naturally abound. But when I’m not happy with myself everything goes down the toilet.
My husband identified his Core Life Desires as Relationships, Health, and Presence. I identified my Core Life Desires as Wholeness, Health, and Happiness.
Here’s how the Core Life Desires work. Let’s say my husband’s colleague is being an asshole or he’s arguing with me. He can check in with himself, “Is this helping or hurting my Relationships?” and then make the necessary course corrections to achieve the type of relationships he desires.
The same goes for Health, a Core Life Desire we both chose. When we’re making food or activity choices we can check in “Will this improve or damage our Health?” This simple process helps us to get what we most want out of life.
I choose “Wholeness” as one of my Core Life Desires because I often feel fragmented, feel pulled in differing directions, and tend to censor or block what I think will meet with disapproval from others. But failing to be true to myself or share a complete person makes me less of a person and prevents me from giving 100% to my relationships, my work, and my life. I chose Wholeness as my Core Life Desire to help me stay congruent and give 100% to my life.
So what are your Core Life Desires? What is most important to you? I challenge you to identify 3 to 4 words that summarize what you want most out of your life and share them in the comments below.
Flickr photo by Demi-Brooke (cc) license
Carolyn Flynn Almendarez holds a Master’s degree in Counseling with additional studies in Nutrition and Holistic Health. She provides a unique blend of mind-body solutions to create health, happiness, and loving relationships. She is a strategist, problem-solver, and intuitive guide. She believes every woman deserves to feel beautiful, serene, and happy. She is committed to helping women create lives they love. She is the author of SMART Talk, Heal Your Grief, and Holiday Peace and Joy.